


How Are You

by blackrainbow



Series: I Swear [3]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 21:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1580849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrainbow/pseuds/blackrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho had a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Are You

Maybe that was the reason why Yunho didn’t have any girlfriend while Changmin did.

 

Yunho had a boyfriend.

 

He was one of their staff for the concert in Japan, and he was half Canadian half Chinese. Changmin hated to admit he was handsome. Maybe because of his genes. But Changmin hated it even more that he was Yunho’s boyfriend. And his boyfriend was Yunho.

 

His name was Manato. Changmin made fun of his name, called him ‘Natto, Natto’ as natto rice but Yunho found it kind of cute, and called his boyfriend ‘Nato’ too. And of course, Nato didn’t mind, because “Then me and Yunho-san will stick together like natto rice,”

 

Changmin wanted to dump all the natto in the world to that man but he was afraid Yunho would eat it off him.

 

Changmin hated Nato. But he hated himself even more, that he couldn’t stand seeing Yunho happy like this. All giggly with his blushed apple cheeks high as Manato put his arms around Yunho’s waist, whispering something to his ear, and Yunho hugged him tighter, buried his face to his shoulder.

 

Sometimes, Changmin would stay in the room, invited the dancers to play cards or just chat, to prevent Yunho being alone with Manato. But then, they would silently holding hands under the table. And lately, Manato was being smart, sending messages to Yunho even though he was sitting across him in the same room. And Changmin could see Yunho grinned widely as he replied the texts.

 

There was a burning feeling in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Yunho stole a kiss from his boyfriend before they left.

 

Changmin didn’t need to be told that he was jealous. He was well aware of that.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho hid his pout when Changmin moved away, tried to dodge his touch. Yunho was quick to cover it with his melodious laugh, but he could notice his full red lips twitched.

 

“It’s embarrassing, Hyung!” Changmin said as they went out from the studio.

 

“But Min-ah, everybody do it. And it’s just a little back hug, right?”

 

Changmin rolled his eyes. “People are watching, Hyung!”

 

“Siwon kissed his member during SuJu concert.” Yunho stated.

 

How Changmin _knew_ that. “We’re not fucking SuJu.”

 

 Yunho looked down. “Okay, then…”

 

Changmin eyed Yunho’s full lower lip pouted. The red meat literally seduced him to take the older man right there and then. “But don’t you dare to ask for a kiss from Siwon.”

 

“Huh?” Yunho looked at him confusedly. “Of course not! Ch- unnff!”

 

Changmin sealed their lips together, sucked Yunho’s lower lip for a moment and bit it lightly, gave a soothing lick before pulled away. “There. Exchange for the back hug.”

 

Yunho would blush and smiled shyly, and Changmin would return the smile before they followed the manager to their car.

 

But now, Yunho didn’t need any exchange for back hugs.

 

Manato would casually, or not so casually put his arm around the man, stood behind him, chin rested on Yunho’s shoulder. Sometimes they were talking about the stage, the lighting, or the audio while doing so. And some other time Yunho would feed him sweet little snacks the crew provided for them.

 

Changmin hadn’t caught them kissing passionately, eating each other mouth. Usually they would sit side by side, and Yunho would traced his boyfriend’s palm line with his fingers while he was busy writing something on the papers. And Manato would help Yunho lacing his shoes.

 

Changmin thought it was stupid because obviously Yunho was an adult who was more than able to lace his own shoes.

 

But he was the only one who thought so.

 

The other crew said they were so sweet and envied them. And Yunho’s smile, if it was even possible, went brighter than usual.

 

There was never once he did such thing to Yunho when they were still lovers. They made out quietly in the bathroom before interviews and flirt silently in the car. Stole some meaningful glances from each other when they were sure that nobody was looking.

 

And Changmin regretted it all just now.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin didn’t need to say _I love you_. He thought Yunho would know without him telling. And when the older man told him those words, Changmin couldn’t be happier that Yunho felt the same.

 

And when he awoke in the morning, groaned because he wasn’t getting enough sleep, the tiredness all gone when he checked his phone. _good morning changdollie, hyung misses u so much! love u_ with rows of emoticons and hearts always energized him when he was doing his schedule alone in Japan.

 

Yunho’s messages still had hundreds of smileys. But no word _love_ in there. Not anymore.

 

So when Manato blew hot air from his mouth to the glass which separated Yunho and him, then drew a heart on it, knocked on the glass to get the attention from his boyfriend who was on the other side, Changmin realized that he didn’t say enough _I love you_ , no matter how much, to Yunho.

 

When Yunho smiled shyly and bit his lip, Changmin could feel his heart broke a little too much inside.

 

 

*

 

 

They went to a ski resort just for one night.

 

A lot of things could happen in one night. But at least, Manato didn’t ask Yunho to meet his parents in Canada.

 

And when Yunho came back home to their shared apartment later that night, his face flushed happy and he caught flu.

 

“Are you okay, Hyung?”

 

Yunho replied a cheery yes, and took off his gloves.

 

“You…” _must be very happy. Does he make you happy?_ “Made the floor wet.”

 

“Oh! I’m sorry, Changmin-ah…” Yunho said, realized his wet socks made water trail on the floor. “The snow must’ve-“

 

“Just leave it.” Changmin sighed.

 

Yunho took a bath as Changmin collected his dirty laundry. Yunho’s wallet fell to the floor.

 

After he made sure Yunho was still singing in the bathroom, he quietly opened the wallet.

 

Yunho kept a photo of Manato in his wallet.

 

And it was normal, Changmin said to himself.

 

Did Yunho keep his picture in his wallet when they were still together?

 

_“You’re so cute, Minnie~~” Yunho looked at Changmin’s childhood photo, he was wearing his uniform, red pants and yellow hat, ready for school._

_“Aish, Hyung! Don’t-“_

_“Ah, but why can’t I have it?!” he held the photo close to his body so Changmin couldn’t take it._

_Changmin tsked. “Do what you want. Just make sure nobody can see it.”_

_“Alright! Alright!”_

It was him who didn’t keep Yunho’s photo in his wallet.

 

 

*

 

 

“Why are you grinning like that? It’s creepy.” Changmin asked as Yunho got in the car from the opposite door. He looked extra happy than usual, more jumpy and if possible, more hyperactive.

 

“Hojoon told me that Manato sent a basket of flower for me! Look!” Yunho showed Changmin a photo from his phone.

 

A big basket filled with white roses. There were message written on a small piece of paper attached to the basket. Changmin didn’t bother reading it.

 

“It’s our 200th day anniversary! Gosh, I was just kidding that I wanted flowers! But he really sent it…” Yunho’s eyes filled with happiness as he stared at his phone.

 

“I bet you weren’t kidding that you wanted flowers.” Changmin said sarcastically.

 

“Well, I better have him in person!” Yunho replied.

 

“…right.” Changmin just sat quietly as he watched the other man.

 

Yunho’s hands were busy typing messages, but then his phone rang. “Yes, Nato-san! I’ve received the flowers!... well, not yet, I’m on my way to my home, Hojoon told me about it!”

 

Changmin could hear the excitement in Yunho’s tone. His cheery voice mixed very well with the Japanese. Once the driver arrived at Yunho’s apartment, the leader quickly opened the door and thanked the driver.

 

“Yes, yes! Please wait a sec, Nato-san, I’ll be there in no time.” Yunho said as he took his bag from the seat next to him. “Bye, Changmin!” he then got out from the car, still talking to the phone.

 

Changmin kept his eyes on that figure, until he lost from his sight, got into the building.

 

“Goodbye, Hyung,” he whispered to the closed door.

 

 

*

 

 

_I’m sorry Hyung. I was such an idiot back then. I didn’t return the affection you gave me. I didn’t always reply to your texts after I read it. I hated doing embarrassing things on stage with you. I didn’t treasure you as much. I never thought to do little things that could make you happy._

_I’m sorry Hyung. I didn’t say I love you enough._

_And now. I’ve lost all the chance to say those words to you._

 

 

*

 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Yunho flinched. “Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

 

Changmin felt suspicious. “Okay.”

 

Yunho hummed and nodded, gave him a small smile.

 

The leader was quiet all day. He was dazing all day, and wasn’t as energetic as usual. Changmin knew Yunho had a problem. But he didn’t know whether he should ask or not. “Is there any problem, Hyung?”

 

“We fought.” Yunho said finally.

 

“You and…” Changmin hated to say ‘your boyfriend’. “Manato?” he asked, and Yunho nodded a bit. “…why?”

 

Yunho took a deep breath. “It’s… not a big deal, though.”

 

Changmin nodded slowly. “It isn’t like… I like cheese but why don’t you like cheese and like egg more, isn’t it?”

 

Yunho giggled. “What is it?”

 

“It’s just…” Changmin felt embarrassed. “Nothing. My girlfriend- I mean my ex… we fought about something like that before. That’s… kinda stupid, yeah.”

 

Yunho’s laughed went slower.

 

“So… is it like, why don’t you contact me, don’t you miss me, kind of thing?”

 

Yunho shrugged. “Yeah... I guess…”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But he should understand, right?”

 

“Hmm...”

 

“But he said it’s okay, it’s okay, though when I called him at night he seemed upset and when I asked what’s wrong, he said nothing, then I’d just go to sleep angry and… in the morning he said he was sorry but it was like that again!”

 

Changmin tried to understand because Yunho’s voice went up and down and he was mumbling a little.

 

“And it’s just… tiring…” Yunho looked down.

 

Being a leader, Yunho had meetings with the managers, staffs, coordis, PDs, before doing a single show. And there were more than one thing they should do in a single day. Radio, tv shows, interviews, and practices. He was responsible for many things, and people depended on him.

 

Yunho deserved something in the end of the day for his hard work, instead of disappointment he received from his lover.

 

“But… I still have to enjoy it, don’t you think?”

 

“Huh?” Changmin looked at him. “What do you mean?”

 

Yunho smiled a bit. “Because at least… I have someone, right? To receive his messages, and though I feel sorry that I can’t reply them right away… it’s there… and knowing he’s upset, or jealous when I’m with other idols, means that he cares about me a lot, right? That he wants me.”

 

Changmin said nothing.

 

“I feel happy. Because I feel wanted. And loved. Right, Changminnie?” Yunho smiled wider to the younger man.

 

Changmin replied the smile. Though it was a little hard to breathe. Though his heart hurt. To know that Yunho was still Yunho, the man who still be grateful through the hardships he went through, the man who always seeing the bright side even in the darkest road, the man he loved, though he wasn’t his anymore. “Right, Hyung.”

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin knew Yunho broke up with Manato from a coordi. So he asked over and over, “Really? Really?”

 

And the coordi said, yes, really, and why Changmin didn’t know about that?

 

“Because you’re busy with your show, Min-ah.” Yunho said. “And it’s like… two weeks ago?”

 

“Two weeks ago?!” Changmin couldn’t believe it. “Why don’t you tell me?”

 

“I don’t want to disturb you with your show, Min. And I know you have to practice for your game. There’s Hojoon, anyway.”

 

Changmin snorted. Hojoon, heh, yeah right.

 

And apparently Kyuhyun knew about that too. And it made him felt hotter that seemed like _everybody_ knew but him.

 

“I asked him if you knew, you know. But Yunho Hyung said to let you focus with your sports game. And Lee Jongsu Hyung.” He said cynically.

 

Changmin looked at him confusedly.

 

“Yah, brat! You don’t even hang out with me anymore!” Kyu kicked his butt.

 

“Now I’m hanging out with you!” Changmin said, they were playing games together in Kyu’s room.

 

“Well, yeah, _now_. Welcome back to life, Shim Changmin!”

 

Changmin rolled his eyes.

 

“By the way… about Yunho Hyung… he’s really pitiful, you know? Donghae stayed over at his place for two days…”

 

“Really?”

 

Kyuhyun nodded. “It’s not like he’s crying all the time or something, but… he’s like… blaming himself. Because he couldn’t make his partner happy. He’s too busy to do anything. But what can we do, our job has this kind of risk, isn’t it?”

 

“What else?”

 

“Well, it’s just like that. You can guess. Donghae went back to our place because Yunho Hyung’s friend was there.”

 

“Hojoon?”

 

“Yep, that one.”

 

“Did Donghae said something else?”

 

“Well, he called once, and Hojoon answered Yunho’s phone. Said that Yunho Hyung was drunk.”

 

How could Changmin miss all of this? “What about nowadays? He’s all fine?”

 

Kyuhyun tilted his head. “You’d know. Isn’t the first month of breaking up is the hardest? You’ll be all drunk for the first week, and the second week you’ll cry your eyes out, wondered why she left you. Third week, more crying, a little random fucking maybe, and realized that she’s the best you’d ever get. You’ll end up call your girlfriend, asked if she wants you back.”

 

“But… Yunho seems fine…” Changmin thought.

 

“Well,” Kyuhyun sighed. “It’s Yunho Hyung.”

 

 

*

 

 

“Hyung, are you home?”

 

“I’m out at the moment. Why, Minnie?”

 

“Well, I…” Changmin almost went in the basement of Yunho’s apartment. He stepped on the gas and went straight. “Just thought I’d stop by…”

 

“Well, I’m in the convenience store near my apartment.”

 

“Oh.” Changmin could see Yunho’s red hair in the store on his left side.

 

“I’ll be home soon.”

 

“What funny is Hyung,”

 

“What?”

 

 _I actually went to see you. I’m not stopping by._ “I actually can see you from my car.”

 

“Huh? Where are you?” Yunho spin in his spot, tried to find Changmin.

 

“I’m in the car, Hyung.” Changmin said.

 

Yunho came out from the store. When he found his maknae, he smiled and waved.

 

 _Dumb_ , Changmin thought. But he waved back a little.

 

Yunho walked towards his car and knocked the window.

 

Changmin opened it.

 

“Do you want something, Min-ah? Then we can go together to my place.”

 

“Food.”

 

Yunho smiled. “Sure!” he went back in to the store. But not long after, he went out again. Empty handed.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I… forgot to bring my wallet.” Yunho bit his lip.

 

“You’re doing this on purpose.” But Changmin gave Yunho his wallet instead.

 

“Thanks, Changdol!”

 

Changmin sighed as he watched Yunho walked back to the store. Five minutes later, the older man went out and got in Changmin’s car.

 

Yunho gave the wallet back to the owner. “You… have my picture in your wallet.”

 

“Oh, I do?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho let out a small awkward laugh.

 

Changmin opened his wallet to see it. He kept it in the inside pocket. “I-“ it was a polaroid photo of Yunho he took with a staff’s camera. It was after a show they recorded together during their comeback as a duo. “It had been there forever.”

 

Yunho hummed.

 

“Ah, I must’ve forgotten that I have it here.”

 

“I see…”

 

“So…”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

*

 

 

When Yunho was throwing out the trash (he wouldn’t if Changmin wasn’t there), Changmin went to the bedroom.

 

The trashcan was filled with rolls of tissue.

 

So Yunho still cried at night.

 

“Min-ah! Look! You’re on tv now!” Yunho called.

 

Changmin tried to ignore how untidy the bed was. And when he was leaving the room, he noticed the calendar on the table. He marked it with red, instead of round shape, it was heart shaped, and Yunho wrote a name inside that heart: Manato.

 

It was two days ago. Maybe his birthday. Their anniversary. Changmin didn’t know and he tried not to care.

 

“Min! What are you doing in there?”

 

Changmin came out. “You really have to make your bed everyday, Hyung.”

 

Yunho almost pouted. “Alright, alright.”

 

Changmin sat next to the older man and ate the snack together.

 

“Thought that I can finally live freely now that we’re not in the same apartment anymore…” Yunho mumbled.

 

“I stick with you, Hyung.” Changmin leaned on Yunho’s side lazily. “Like a bubblegum.”

 

Yunho chuckled.

 

 

*

 

 

“Do you love me as much as I love you?” he looked at Yunho deeper, moved closer. “Do you love me more than you loved Changmin back then?”

 

Now how could Yunho answered that.

 

But Manato knew the answer anyway. “Do you think you can love me more?”

 

“Nato-san,” Yunho looked at him. “About Changmin, he’s always by my side. I always love him, even when we’re not a couple. I hope you understand that. But you are my lover now. And I love you.” He said patiently.

 

Manato asked about Changmin once, and finally, Yunho told that they were lovers back then. Manato didn’t hide the fact that he was jealous, but Yunho tried to explain that they were really over, and Changmin even had a girlfriend.

 

“And I thought we’re done about this…” Yunho added.

 

“That’s not the answer I want.” Manato whispered quietly, he smiled bitterly to the other man. “I just- can’t help but notice both of you when you’re together.”

 

Yunho and Changmin were back in Japan for a short time for CF and magazine photoshoots. They had some free time before the plane to Korea departed at night, and Yunho didn’t waste this opportunity to see Manato. But Nato was working with his team, which were also the team for their Tohoshinki concerts. And Changmin came along with him just to say hello to them.

 

Yunho stole one kiss from his boyfriend after he pulled him to an empty room. And he was afraid that would be their last kiss.

 

“Do you know if he still has feelings for you?”

 

Yunho blinked confusedly. “What do you mean?”

 

“Do you know if Changmin-san is still in love with you?”

 

“He’s not.” Yunho answered firmly.

 

“Do you not notice how he looks at you?”

 

Yunho’s hands fell from Manato’s shoulder.

 

Manato smiled sadly. “I know that look Yunho-san.”

 

“Nato,”

 

“So please, can you tell me now if you love me more than him.” He asked sadly.

 

Yunho couldn’t. They fell to a deep silent.

 

And Manato could sense it. So he straightened up and took a breath. “This will be my last work in Japan.” He said. “My father asked if I wanted to come back to Canada. He’s getting older and… I wonder if I have better luck there.”

 

“So you’ll go?”

 

“Will you tell me to stay?”

 

Yunho opened his mouth, but closed it again. “Do I have the right to do so?”

 

“Do you think you don’t?” Manato asked. “Because you think my feelings for you isn’t that much. Is it because of your feelings for me isn’t that much either?”

 

“I love you, I really do.” Yunho held his tears in because he could see that Manato was tearing also. His twinkling eyes were glassy. The lively eyes Yunho loved so much, now in deep despair.

 

Nato’s breath was shaky. “I believe that. But I want more. Maybe at least, as much as him.” He said. “He who always by your side. He who can see you everyday. He who you loved so much. I’m so jealous of him, Yunho-san.”

 

Yunho looked down.

 

“I hope you will be happy, Yunho-san.”

 

Yunho looked at him and he could see his sincere smile.

 

“This will be goodbye, then.”

 

Yunho spent some time in the bathroom after that, before the manager hyung called him to say they had a little interview before their flight.

 

“Oh, Hyung, manager hyung called you?” Changmin asked. “About the interview?”

 

“Yeah. The driver is waiting now,” Yunho said as he took his bag.

 

“Okay.” Changmin followed him.

 

Yunho could hide his broken heart and disguised it as tiredness. They did the interview, went back to Korea, and he arrived at his home.

 

Before sleeping, Yunho noticed the calendar on his table. It would be their 300th days together in ten days, and he had requested to manager hyung to clear his schedule on that day. He planned to surprised Manato, visited him in Japan and took and did things together.

 

When he was digging for his phone inside his bag, something fell as well from the small pocket.

 

Their couple ring.

 

That was the first time he wore a couple ring, and he couldn’t be happier as Manato slid the silver ring to his ugly fingers (but Nato always said that they were adorable).

 

And Yunho couldn’t help but cry, wondered why didn’t he say that he actually love him so much? That Yunho knew he couldn’t change Nato’s decision if he wanted to go to Canada, but still, couldn’t they try to make it worked?

 

Because Manato believed that Changmin was still in love with Yunho. That Yunho, though loved him back, still loved Changmin more.

 

Yunho didn’t know what to believe.

 

He just regretted that he didn’t try harder.

 


End file.
